Modesty, Dress Code, and Double Standards

So if you read the title, you have probably figured out what this post is about.  I came across a post in my news feed the other day, and it really bothered me.  I do not know why, but it bothered me enough to blog a post about it.

The post said,

"When you interrupt a girl's school day to force her to change clothes or to send her home because her shorts are short, or her bra straps are visible, you are telling her that hiding her body is more important than her education.

You are telling her that making sure the boys have a distraction-free learning environment is more important than her education.

You are telling her that boys are more entitled to an education than she is.”

This troubled me.  Initially, we are talking about school and education, correct?  Last time I checked every school has dress codes.  Every single one of them.  Some enforce this, and others do not.  Some have school uniforms, and others do not.  Nevertheless, every single school you ever attend, or someone that you know attends, will have a dress code outlined in their policy.

Therefore, what this post said is that we are telling the girl who did not abide by the dress code (because I am pretty sure that the way she dressed is in direct violation of it) that she needs to hide her body, and that it’s “more important than her education”.  But what I don’t understand is, has this girl even read the dress code? The problem is this.  PEOPLE DO NOT ENFORCE THE DRESS CODE!

I say this because it truly is a problem.  Teachers, principals, parents and coaches do not enforce the code.  This really bothers me.  Why do some adults say that modesty is crucial, especially when living in Utah, but they do not at least enforce the dress code?  We might as well say that children can go to school naked.  Honestly, I can say that I will try to enforce modesty with my children when they attend school, and try to teach them the principles behind it in my religion for outside of school.  I will let them choose how they dress, but when it comes to going to school, I am going to be adamant about their attire.  This leads to something very crucial. We are teaching our children wrongly about modesty.

We teach that modesty is important, but we are not concise enough in our definition.  Modesty outside of religion would be attire that complies with the location that you will be attending.  It would be something that follows a code of conduct.  You would not dress in a tank top or a wife beater at a court trial.  At least you probably should not because you want to look like a professional in life, and well put together (That is just the way our society is, a suit or dress that adequately covers your body is what is considered professional, it is not about shame, and never truly has been).  Modesty at school is no different; you should not wear a wife beater or a tank top to school.  This is considered too revealing, it seeks attention, and that is not the purpose for education.

Revealing clothing is considered a distraction, and it does not only apply to girls towards boys.  Some women will look at another and compare themselves.  Some women are attracted to other women.  Men should also be held to the same standard, sagging pants, wearing wife beaters, etc.  Saying something that is revealing or flamboyant shouldn’t merit distraction, would be saying that isn’t exactly what someone is thinking when they put it on in the morning.  They will be thinking that they will catch the eye of the girl or guy that they have had their eye on.

Now modesty in general, religious or otherwise should be this.  You should dress to respect yourself, but also be happy with how you dress.  If men or women have trouble controlling their thoughts about your attire, that is not your fault.  They are in charge of their own mind and actions.  You may influence, but it is not your fault for their train of thought.  We need not judge people by what they wear, or judge them in general.  We most certainly need not OBJECTIFY them by what they wear.  Some say it is simply the way we are programed, but if we are honest about it, that is completely ludicrous.  Some people are aroused by feet!  Others by ears!  It is unfair to say that a person should have to live by my principles when they are in line with the conduct of the venue they are attending.

One of the first things that happened in the post was that the girl was portrayed as the victim.  First, she was not a victim.  She dressed herself for school, but did not select her attire based on the rules and outlined code.  She is only a victim of her own design, so we should not portray her as anything else.  Secondly, it says that the “boys” should “have a distraction-free learning environment.”  Well, last time I checked, people in general are distracted by revealing, flamboyant and offensive (as in what is printed or portrayed on the article) clothing.  That is why we have policies in the first place.  They are there to outline the code of conduct (what is expected of the students), and to work to ensure that the classroom is not subject to distractions.  They are there to ensure that everyone is “entitled to an education”, and not favor any over another, but more importantly, offer the best education we can for each individual.

The double standard that is applied to women should be shot down.  The standard should be applied to women and men.  We expect men to keep their shirts on, we expect them wear shorts on their hips, not on their knees.  We expect both genders to wear clothing that is not considered offensive or vulgar.  We expect people to abide by dress code.  Women do not only distract men, and vice versa.  Men are responsible for their thoughts and actions, whereas women are for their own.  Every person should work not to objectify another.  Period.

Let us work towards respecting others, but also not looking to purposely sway people’s thoughts with our actions or attire.  Be comfortable in what you wear, but make sure it abides by the institution’s standards of where you are going.  Do not expect to be the exception to a rule that is supposed to be applied to all.  Both boys and girls should abide by the dress code.  Teachers, principals, parents and coaches should enforce such standards.  It is part of their responsibility.  Let us take responsibility and follow the codes we have agreed to abide by.